2010, Surprise Me!

Happy New Year!!!

New Year's Eve 2010

them

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with love,

Cheers.

My 2010 Resolutions.

It’s the end of 2009. Are you sad? Will you hold on to it? Did you have sweet lasting memories? And you thought that this is the best year ever?

I wouldn’t. I didn’t think so. I can’t wait to get this year over. And start a new year with better hopes.

As for better year, I would think it is necessary to change my lifestyle. So, I have several list for my 2010 resolution.  Several of them I update in my twitter.. and the rest of it are here.

1. Ok first one. Make a good achievable list of 2010resolution and try to do it before end of 2010, not after!

Its hard to make a resolution for yourself especially when you get used to being who you are. But its even harder to achieve it. So, make it a challenge but achievable!

2. Don’t be a vegan … yet! Because KFC, Nando’s, TGIF and Mr. Teppanyaki are still really good!

3. I’m not really good at being single. So, have a boyfriend!! *lirik2*

4. Bali? or Pie Pie island? Right now, even Mentawai island sounds good too.

Need a holiday to plan next year … with bodat!

5. Black flat shoes and small yellow bag!

I know this sound more to wish list than a resolution. Hihi..

6. Be a morning person! Except on Saturday, Sunday and public holiday.

7. Be more active and productive. Sounds so wrong, I’ll try to make more sense.

8. Be aggressive to myself. Well, I mean, be more self confident.

9. Have income! So I can buy the black flat shoes and my small yellow bag and go holiday!

10. Be a toothache free! is a MUST!

11. Have Megan Fox’s body! BUT… Naaaah, she’s not that cute!

12. Be nice to earth.

- Nothing wasted. No more wasting money. No more wasting tissue. No more wasting food. No more wasting tears.

- Plant something. Anything from green to red. Anything from flowers to fruit.

- Use less plastic bags. Less plastic bags means less shopping. Less shopping means more saving. More saving means more holiday! Yippie…

- Reuse, Reduce and Recycle! Think before buying!

13. Be an addict! A green tea addict!

14. Talk Less. Do More.

No, I’m not promoting any products here. I’m just referring to my ownself

15. Learn about literature and keep writing, practice, writing and practice.

16. Married!?!?

Oups, did I say it out loud?

17. Meet 50 people and blog about them!

I think I need more resolutions than these. But all of these are reflecting to my better version of me. and the rests are still yet to come.

Cheers! and Happy New Year!!!

Earth is shaking and I do too.

Today, I felt the earthquake and it was quite strong. It happened at 8.11am while I was sleeping. My alarm went on and I was about to turn off the snooze and ready to sleep till noon. While my eyes are still half closed and I was barely awake, I felt something’s moving my body front and back. I still didnt realize that it was an earthquake. I tried so hard to fully open my eyes and felt what I felt before. Just to make sure that it was an earthquake! It stopped for seconds but then it started to shake again. I quickly dropped my blanket and walk outside. Followed by Mbak Sum.

I was still half awake. The earthquake stop but I was still shaking. I heard nothing from my mom, sister or brother’s room. Guess they were too sleepy to run outside. Mbak Sum said I really look so pale and my lips are white blue. Ok. I’m scared. This is my first time to feel the earthquake that strong! I wasn’t here when the strongest one happened sometime this year. So, I have the right to be pale and blue. He he..

The info I get is the earthquake center is 127KM away from my city, Padang which is in Mentawai Island. It was 6.1 SR and lasted about a few seconds. and no body is hurt, I think.

1 thing I learn from this earthquake. Something could happened this morning, some terrible things. and I could be as sleep and not feel a thing. and it could be worse than this. Disaster could happen in any day, any time and any place. I just realized that I should be 24/7 alert. and from now on, I try to wake up early morning as possible. Time to do a harsh cleaning and make 2010 resolutions!

Btw, I was driving around Padang about weeks ago and took this picture. Do click to see the full size.

and Me..

Something is missing.

My last post is over 2 weeks ago and now I still dont have any topics to write. What I have right now is my self doubt on my ability to create something for myself and everyone around me. I cant say I didnt have the knowledge, I cant say I didnt have the time. It was all there, waiting for me to grab it one by one. I just didnt have something. Yes, something is missing. I didnt quite figure it out … just yet.

I searched around for the past 6 months in every city, every friends, every place and wasted my time in finding nothing. But I know something.. I think I’m having an early quarter-life crisis.

Quarter-Life Crisis

Definition from wikipedia

is a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the early twenties to the early thirties. The term is named by analogy with mid-life crisis.

People changes. Their way of thinking changes. But sometimes, everyday. So, this is not really a definition for what I’ve been through.

Definition from http://www.cds.caltech.edu/~shane/text/quarterlifecrisis.html

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn’t know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

OK. This is it. This is what I’ve been through. There are still more explanation on the site, you can click through it.

I said “early quarter-life crisis” because usually people are having this when they are in their 25’s or over. And I’m still 2 years behind. So, I grew up fast.

Usually, in every problems you faced, you end up making decisions. and usually, the path have carved “decision A”, “decision B” and “decision C” and so on. And this is where it gets tricky. When you choose A, you will lose B and C and the other way around. How often you choose A and you get half of B and half of C? Very rare. Unless, you are really lucky.

But my problem is, I dont have A, B or C. I dont have any options to choose. The paths are not there for me to take a single step. The direction I was heading is unknown. I was heading with my full lights on and few extra pairs of eyes, ears and senses. But I was looking directly to a black hole and I found no one to tag along with. It is my time to be alone, feel alone, and do alone.

I thought not everyone has been through this. You want to find something in your life, but you don’t know what your looking for. You want this and that, but you feel so greedy. You try to search around in circle. You need all your friends, but they can’t do anything to you. You want to be something, but maybe you are not meant to be anything. You are insecure but secure at the same time.

This is crazy talk. I know.

Everyone need to be crazy at times. But text me if you feel me.

Btw, some time ago, I printed a tee with my blog on it.

My tee!

Street – ing in Padang

Rencananya mau bagi2 baju ke street kids (baca: anak jalanan). Baju papa, mama, kk dan aku tuh banyak banget. Dan ada beberapa yang udah gak kepake lagi, tapi sayang kalau dibuang gitu aja. Kasih saudara? Udah! Dua kotak penuh! Nah, niat sekarang mau ngasih ke street kids aja, karena sering lagi jalan sama kakak tuh suka ngeliat anak2 atau pengemis di jalanan, trus kasihan banget ngeliat baju mereka tuh yang udah kusam, bauk, dan bolong sana sini.

Walaupun jarang banget ngasih duit ke pengemis, lebih baik kan ngasih baju aja ke mereka. Dan ini juga bukan aksi untuk mendukung anak2 tetap trus di jalan, tapi cuma bagi2 rejeki aja. Trus aku sama kakak juga gak pasang tenda atau apalah di tengah jalan gitu, pengennya keliling Padang aja, trus ngasih di jalan gitu kalau ketemu.

Dan niat baik pun akhirnya gagal. Karena…

1. Ketika lagi berhenti di lampu merah, aku sama kakak lagi ketawa2. trus kaget ketika ada anak2 yang datengin mobil trus ngamen. Langsung heboh untuk milih2 baju mana yang mau dikasih. Akhirnya di dalam mobil jadi heboh, karena takut gak cocok, takut kebanyakan, takut warna bajunya gak cocok dengan warna kulit, takut bajunya gak pas. Trus, lampu hijau deh.
2. Lagi nyari2 anak2 itu, tiba2 ngeliat ibu2 sama anaknya di dalam gerobak, lalu kami berhenti di depan gerobaknya. Lalu aku sama kakak langsung bingung mau pilih baju yang mana, yang kira2 cocok untuk dia sama anaknya. Terus juga bingung antara mau kasih satu atau dua plastik. Tiba2 si ibu lewat depan mobil dan ngeloyor pergi bersama anak and gerobaknya.
3. Pencarian kakek2 di lampu merah dekat Terandam. Dari jauh udah disiap2in tuh baju yang mana yang mau dikasih. Kali ini udah siap lah. Pas di lampu merah, ternyata tuh kakek lagi gak mangkal disitu. Lagi cuti kaliy yah. Gagal lagi deh. Akhirnya lampu hijau dan ngeliat tuh kakek lagi jalan di trotoar. Ternyata si kakek baru slesai mangkal atau ganti tempat mangkal, dia lagi jalan kemana gitu. Ketika mau berhenti, ternyata di sepanjang jalan tuh dilarang berhenti. Akhirnya gagal lagi deh. Maaf ya kek, besok aja yah kek. Makanya sms dulu mau mangkal jam berapa.
4. Mau ngasih baju ke orang gila. TAKUT.
5. Akhirnya setelah berkeliling sekian lama, ketemu juga anak jalanan. Dan baju pun udah mau dikasih, lalu ingat, kalau kita gak punya baju anak cowok. Secara kita berdua cewek2. Dan kakak bilang, ya udah, kasih baju untuk keluarganya aja. Bajunya tuh udah diplastikin, lengkap dari baju anak, bapak, ibu sampai tas dan talipinggang pun ada. Trus ketika mau dikasih, kami nanya dulu.

Aku: “Mau baju gak?”

AJ (Anak Jalanan) : “Buliah, ni” (boleh kak)

Kakak: “Baju nya untuk bapak dan ibu”

AJ : “Awak ndak ada bapak do ni.” (Saya ga ada bapak, kak)

Aku dan kakak langsung terdiam dan ngasih duit gopek 2 biji.

Dan hari pun semakin sore, dan anak2 semakin sepi. Ntah karena kemarin memang lagi sepi atau pada mudik lebaran, aku sama kakak jadi kesusahan nyari street kids.

Ternyata juga gak semudah itu menjalankan niat. Banyak orang bilang, kenapa gak dikasih ke panti anak atau ke posko2 gempa gitu. Yang pertama, kami gak tau panti anak ada dimana. Yang kedua, posko2 gempa juga udah pernah dikasih bantuan. Kalau ngasih ke posko atau panti kan mudah, kita tinggal ngasih aja, mereka yang bakalan sibuk bagi2in. Tapi aku sama kakak pengen ngasih langsung, supaya ada personal feelnya ke mereka. Personal touch kalo bahasa marketingnya. Hekhekhke

Udah lah, segitu aja. Setiap hari sampai sekarang masih nyari2 orang yang membutuhkan. Semoga nanti barang2ku laku semua.

Happy December!

Gara2 Mbak Sum,

Udah dua minggu aku kedatangan “mbak Sum”. Seumur hidup baru kaliy ini punya “pembantu”. Ga sreg kalau dibilang pembantu, tapi dia cukup membantu2 pekerjaan rumah dan pekerjaan yang lain2. Pokoknya help full banget dan aku ngerasa kagum2 dengan ke”rajin”annya.

Nah kebetulan tuh, si mbak suka masak. Jadi kami sekarang udah gak pernah beli makanan di luar lagi. Karena masakan mbak tuh enak. Padahal yang sehari2nya dimasak tuh tempe & tahu bacem, sayur2 dan ikan ala kadarnya. Bukan masakan padang yang penuh dengan gulai dan rasa yang pedas, tapi masakan yang ala kadarnya. Namun, nikmat banget. Semuanya mengakui. Huhu..

Akhirnya kerjaan aku tuh makaaaaaaaaaaaaan terus. Baru bangun, makan bubur kacang ijo,, trus siang menjelang sore, makan nasi. Trus sorenya makan ubi goreng. Trus malamnya makan nasi lagi. Karena jadi sering makan, frekuensi makan sekarang berubah jadi 1 jam sekali. #parahtingkattinggi

Yah begitulah, baru seminggu si mbak disini, tapi timbangan aku udah mulai bergerak ke kanan dengan drastisnya. Sekarang aja kakak kalau ngeliat aku, selalu gemes, suka nyubit pipi aku. Kalau ketawa yang keliatan pipi goyang2. AAAArrKKh, ternyata bener kata temenku, “bakpao kok dibawa kemana2” *pipi udah kayak bakpao* o_0

Jadi solusinya sekarang, aku harus nyari tempat fitness! Berhubung kalau mau jogging2 di luar tuh banyak “pengganggu” (baca: anjing, orang gila, dan untung2 kalau digangguin cowok), jadi harus nyari tempat yang nyaman dan aman supaya joggingnya santaiii.. hehehe.. jogging kok santai, yah gak bakalan kurus juga kaliy yah.

I hope next month, my fitness is up dan akhirnya bisa makan masakan mbak Sum tanpa rasa bersalah.

Mbak Sum, welcome to the family.

My mom’s day

Kemarin tgl 11 nov, mama ulang tahun yang ke … 52 tambah 1. Kami ternyata salah itung. Seharusnya mama 53, lebih tua setahun dari yang kami bayangkan. Dan kami Cuma ketawa2 aja ketika tau salah itung. Namanya juga mama sendiri, tetep cantik aja walaupun umur udah 50an.

Ketika mama lihat diatas kue nya ada lilin angka “52”, langsung berkaca2 deh mata mama,, jadi terharu.. trus mama bilang. “mama kan 53”. Kami pada “loooooohhh…”

Yah, senang bisa ngerayain ultah mama.

She never ask anything for a gift. She doesn’t need something that comes out with a box. So, its very hard to choose a gift for her. We bought her something that she needs at the moment… “daster”. And she really like it.

Mom,

We are really lucky to have you.

We’re the one who should be thankful.

We’re the one with the humble mind to adore you.

We love you very much

And thank you for being with us this whole years.

Happy b’day Mom.

mom's cake

Resah

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Lagi2 masih di hari yang sama seperti kemarin. Aku masih jobless dan keadaan dirumah masih seperti biasa2 aja. Before I forget, it’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow. *big love for her*

Listening to Nitrus – Resah and currently waiting for someone to take my hand.

Apa ada rasa dalam hatimu…

datang padaku cerita padaku

ungkapkan rasa itu

apakah saja buat hilang ragumu…